Tell me you’re a Mom without telling me you’re a Mom

Have you ever noticed it's pretty easy to pick out a Mom? They don't even have to mention kids, but you know. It's not even because they're the most put together one or the most responsible. It’s the little things. Certain movements, sounds, facial expressions or what’s in their grocery cart. So many small details that just scream “I’m a Mom!” Sometimes I think my flashing neon Mom sign adds “proceed with caution” in big bold letters.

Since becoming a Mom there is one particular statement I hear all the time. People never ask it in the form of a question, it’s always a statement. “You look tired.”

I have two children, a two year old and a five month old. I’m not tired. I’m exhausted. Even on the nights I get a solid amount of sleep, the exhaustion is still written all over my face. This is just my face now. It’s my new look. The fatigue that started with pregnancy is now a permanent fixture.

Do people really expect me to look any different? As a Mom it’s just our look. There’s a look of fatigue, and then there’s a look of Mom fatigue. Being Mommy tired hits a little different. Similar to wearing the latest styles of clothing or following the newest makeup trend. Let’s call it Mommy Chic. Complete with dark circles under the eyes and yesterday’s left over makeup. The only runway I’m walking down is the hallway at 3am to comfort my screaming child. The exhaustion on my face will tell you I’m a Mom before I do.

The Mommy sway. You know the one. Slowly swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the music on a dimly lit dance floor. Except there’s no music or dance floor. You’re actually waiting in line to check out at the grocery store slowing swaying from side to side completely obliviously to the looks coming your way. You get so accustomed to swinging back and forth while comforting your child that you do it even when you're not holding your baby. I’ve been called out on this particular move multiple times.

I can only imagine what other people think in these situations. Imagine it. You’re standing in the grocery store check out line swaying side to side. No music, no baby on hip, just you and the digital coupons you’re scrolling through as you wait. My movements tell you I’m a Mom before I do.

Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo. This is constantly going through my head. Who am I kidding, half the time it’s not just in my head. I have definitely sang this song, out loud, in public, not even realizing it. It just seems so natural since I hear it so much at home. Some of those toddler songs and nursery rhymes aren’t terrible, but it’s a little different when a grown adult is caught humming the tune of one of them in public without a child even present. Baby shark calms your toddler and you end up singing it enough that it sort of starts to calm you too. Baby Shark will tell you I’m a Mom before I do.

I have snacks; in the car, in the diaper bag, in my fanny pack, even in my pockets. Snacks are always available. You can catch me whipping an apple sauce pouch out of my fanny pack quicker than the tears can roll down my son’s face. Apple sauce is probably one of the more normal items you’ll find I have on hand. You never know what you might need with kids in tow. The contents of my belongings will tell you I’m a Mom before I do. As Moms we’ve gotta be prepared.

You’ve all heard the Mom voice. There’s the it’s-okay-sweetie voice, the absolutely-not-don’t-even-think-about-it voice, the I-love-you voice. I have, on more than one occasion, caught myself speaking to my husband, or friends, like they are my children. I’m so accustomed to talking to my kids that my Mom voice just transfers to every other conversation I have. I find myself telling my husband goodbye and to have a good day in the exact same way I bid farewell to my babes at daycare. My voice will tell you I’m a Mom before I do.

Since being a Mom so much of what I see on social media truly resonates. Those “it’s funny because it’s true” type of posts. One of my favorites is about Moms dressing like Adam Sandler. It’s actually reassuring to me knowing that I’m not the only Mom that feels this way.

I would love to look cute and adorable everyday. Hair done, nails done, everything big, if you will. Some Moms can make this happen and to you, I bow down. You’re killin’ it. The other Moms and I will be out here rocking’ our Adam Sandler look, with sweats and so much dry shampoo if someone lights a match we’re all going up in flames. This is part of the Mommy Chic look. Your permanently tired looking face and a pair of your best-don’t-know-when-they-were-washed-last sweatpants make the look complete. For me personally, it doesn’t help that I was never really into or even good at being “done up” anyway. Maybe that’s just a sign that I was made for Mom life. My wardrobe will tell you I’m a Mom before I do.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being a Mom. I truly love that I don’t even have to tell you that I’m a Mom for you know. Catch me at the store swaying back and forth singing Baby Shark to no one. Catch me pulling applesauce out of no where like my life depends on it. Catch me in my stained sweatpants and greesy hair. Catch me looking exhausted, but still pulling off a smile. Catch me loving Mom life.

Wear the exhaustion on your face and those unwashed sweats with pride, Mama.

Fran