Mom Years

Mom years. Like dog years, but for Moms. You know, like for every child you add seven years. I'm 28 in human years, but I have two kids so, in Mom years, I'm 42. I should probably add a few extra years for dealing with my husband, but we'll just focus on the kids for now.

Kids definitely age you. It doesn't matter if they're little angel children or hellians, they age you.

I found my first grey hair a few weeks ago. I was not at all prepared for that. We all know it's coming at some point, but despite knowing the inevitable, it still doesn't make it any easier. Especially as a woman.

To be completely honest, it's not the grey hair itself or the fact that I'm getting older that bothers me. I just really don't want to have to pay to dye my hair. I've never dyed my hair, but I know it's not cheap. I already pay enough money for daycare, I don't need to add hair color to the budget too.

Its almost as if I feel it. The grey hair coming in, that is. The constant worry that comes with being a Mom. Grey hair. The mini heart attacks your kids are always giving you. Grey hair. The continuous questioning if you're doing this right or that right. More grey hair.

I never had back pain until I had kids either. I'm either holding a child or I'm a human jungle gym. Don't take this the wrong way, I absolutely love both holding my kids and being their jungle gym, but it's not easy on the body. Yoga certainly helps, but stretching out on the floor just screams "play time" to my son.

The worst is leaning over the tub for bath time. No one warned me about this one. You should see me standing up after bath time. There's groaning, cracking, and grabbing on to everything in my reach for support.

I'm also losing my vision. This one I know is related to my kids. In 2016 (I was 20 years old then; this was pre-kids so I was legitimately 20), I had lasik surgery. The best decision ever. I came out of it with 20/15 vision. The world literally looked different from what I had seen my whole life. I was told I may have to go back sometime in my 40's to get it redone or possibly use readers, but even that was just a possibility.

Fast forward to 2023 while pregnant with my daughter. I had noticed vision issues for at least a year at this point, but per usual, I pushed off seeing the doctor. When it finally got to the point that I couldn't read signs on the side of the road I figured it was time to go in.

"Trifocals?!" I unintentionally yelled out at the eye doctor after she had just finished her exam and broken the news of my new normal. I went from literal perfect vision to needing three different lenses in one, not even ten years later. Full disclosure, I knew about bifolcals, but had no idea trifocals were a thing.

I was shocked. Although, I had one child by this point and was currently pregnant with my second making me 41 in Mom years. I guess that checks out.

The doctor explained that having children, being pregnant more specially, can effect your vision. She said once I had the baby my vision could actually begin correcting. I'm not holding out too much hope on that considering I can't see if my son is holding a ball or block from only ten feet away. I love my kids, but I'm afraid if I have one more I literally won't be able to see them grow up.

I'm a 42-year-old-28-year-old Mom of two, with grey hair, a bad back, and trifocals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Let's face it, we're old, Mama.

Fran